Meanings
by Wolfie-the-demon-wolf
Summary: A sequel to unwanted. You don't have to read it, but it might make better sense. OK so Rin feels really guilty about Bon saving him, so whats the only way to make sure it don't happen again? IN Rins mind, it's to run away. But will it solve everyone's problems, make them worse, add to them, or all of the above? Read and review. Better than it sounds. Please I'm begging you to read.
1. It hurts to be me

I do not own Blue Exorcist or any of it's characters. I only own the idea for this fanfiction.

I am currently standing at the edge of the cliff where I had jumped off oh, but maybe a week or so ago. Bon is standing next to me. His shift was over three hours ago, but he refuses to go away. Everyone blamed themselves saying that it was there fault and such stupid things. But Bon took it the hardest. I guess I should explain. So after everyone left and Yukio and Bon were the only ones left, Yukio informed me that I was now going to be under suicide watch. So they have to watch me twenty four seven, which is really annoying because I should have, by all rights just died. But of course, Bon said he couldn't just stand there and watch me drown myself. You could tell that he hadn't gotten any sleep for the past couple of days maybe even more, by the really dark circles under his eyes.

"I don't get it. Why would you save a worthless demon like myself?" I must have shocked Bon into Gehenna and back because he snapped his head up really fast. He looked at me funny with a confused look.

"What do you mean? I saved you because I'm your friend. Why wouldn't I?" Bon actually sounded concerned. I feel bad, but I can't deal with this guilt trip inside me. It's ripping at my sides begging to be brought out. And screaming wouldn't help any. I just snapped.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I AM A BLOODY DEMON, SATANS SON, AND YET YOU JUST BROUGHT ME OUT OF THE WATER! WHY?" I asked while throwing my hands in the air then when I stopped yelling at Bon, I clamped my hands over my mouth and with wide eyes, I started to cry. Falling to my knees, I cried silent tears, then sobbs racked my body. Bon had me embraced before I could do anything. I just had no idea what to do, here I just yelled at the person who saved my life by risking his own whether it be for better or worse. What a bloody fool I am. I sobbed for a long long time. I must have fallen asleep because when I awoke, I was in my dorm. Bon was studying as usual. Hahaha. I envy him so much for being able to be so smart and such. Though if I actually sat down and read the work, I could do it without a problem. But I usually don't simply then that way I could be with Bon for a little bit. Yukio is usually to busy to busy himself with a trouble child like myself. I went back to sleep and I awoke again a while later. I looked around to see that Bon had fallen asleep. Good, now I can escape. You see a few days ago, I hoped that one of my care takers would fall asleep while on watch. That way I could run away and not let anyone else get hurt. I took a pen and paper and wrote a letter to everyone, then one to Bon personally. The note to everyone was just a blank appoligy for being a problem, that I never wanted to hurt anyone. But the one to Bon was a bit longer and deeper and important than the one to everyone.

_Dear Bon,_

_I want you to know how sorry I am. I know I can't stay here. If I do, I'll hurt someone, it may even be you. I care _

_about you way to much to hurt you in any way. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you with all my heart, or_

_whats left of it. I just don't want to hurt you or anyone else. I don't want you or anyone else to come and find me, you_

_won't be able to find me anyways. I'm sorry that you had to waste your time saving me like you always do. I really wish_

_that you hadn't. Because now both of us have to live with the guilt. I might see you again, then again, I may never see _

_you. But I love you so much. Stay safe._

_Love,_

_Rin_

After grabbing my sword, I jumped out of the window. Never looking back, I ran off into the forest to find my destination: a place without civilization and someone I could hurt. I just hope that everyone will eventually understand why I did what I did, and that it was for the better.

OK so first chapter done. I know it was short but I'm writing this at one in the morning. So I hope you stay around for the second chapter.


	2. You don't care

Once again, I do not own Blue exorcist or its characters. I hope you all enjoy it. I know it's short. But I will hopefully update faster. :)

Bons P.O.V.

I awoke to bright sunshine in my eyes. It took me a minute to figure out where I was until I remembered that I was in stupids doorm room. I looked over on his bed, and saw that it looked like he could be asleep still. I go to get up when I notice a paper folded with my name written across it in wonderful artistic letters. I unfolded it and read the letter. I read it over and over and over and over and over again. But how could this letter be true, Rin was laying over in his bed. So I walked over and pulled back the blankets to find an empty bed. How can this be true. How can he say that he loves me when he doesn't know how I feel, how can he say that he would be better off without anyone else? Who was he to say what he had said? Why did he have to leave like this? Yukio must have heard word about it because he came running into the dorm and looked about. Probably for Rin. Yukio looked at me and I looked back, both of us on the verge of tears. Apperently Rin had left a note for everyone but one specially for me. I didn't know what to think, some part of me wanted to rejoice to the lord that he was gone. But then there was this other part of me that wanted to burst out crying myself into death. Yukio walked out in a kind of dazed walk. Like he was deep in thought but totally lost. I knew how he felt. So I got my uniform on and walked down the hallway to our class room. We were still a first year, but we had come a long way from where we started out at. But most of all Rin had. He just became a knight like he had wanted. So he was getting closer to his second dream, only to just run away. I walked into the class to see everyone was chatting away like nothing in the world mattered to them. I went to sit at my seat when a new kid who had arrived here about a week ago said something that really ticked me off.

"Well, I am, for one, glad that whats his name is gone. Oh right Rin. I bet he will die and hopefully it's a painfull one at that. We could only hope right?" I noticed that everyone was looking at him but no one said anything, thats something else that threw me over the edge. I walked right up to him and punched him harder across the face than what I had to Rin. The kid flung out of his seat and smacked into the wall hard enough to leave a small crack in it.

"I swear under the name of my soul and very being, if you EVER say something to that effect about him again, I will kill you." I turned my back on him to go back to my seat, but I turned around and added something else.

"Also, that's not a threat, that's a promise. Oh and stay out of Rins seat, you don't deserve to sit in it." I sat back down in my seat and opened my book to study some more.

"Well, who are you to say that I can't sit where I want? Who are you to defend that demon? What, you got feelings for him? And you preach about how you want to destroy Satan? Here's your way of getting to him, go off and kill the son of him." I must have had a look on my face that was scary because before I knew what to do, Shima and Konekomaru had me dragged out of the class room and out into the court yard. I just looked at them because I had no words for them. Why would they stop me?

"Dude, you need to calm down. We get how you feel, but killing someone won't make Rin come back anytime soon." Said Shima. But I wouldn't have killed anyone, I couldn't...could I? Konekomaru must have read my mind because he got somewhat scared.

"Shima's right Bon. The look you had on your face to that kid, was one that was deadly enough to kill if looks could kill." I felt my eyes widened. Had I really looked like that? But there is no way...no...way. I stood up suddenly after realizing that I was sitting on the ground. After telling the guys to go back to class, I went to my dorm. Grabbing my bookbag, I placed in a few things like clothing and such. Things I would need. I went to Rins dorm and grabbed his thin blanket that he used all the time, and neatly folded that and also placed this in my bag. I left a note to everyone, no here deserved a private one. Not even Shima and Konekomaru, they never once jumped to Rins defence.

_Dear everyone, _

_Not sure how much shock this will be to all of you. But I decided that I am going to go after Rin. It may be that I'm gone for only a short time, or it could be for a long time. Which ever does not matter. None of you jumped to his defence today. Not even Yukio, his own brother. I don't know what to think of you people. I sometimes wonder if comming to this school was just a waste of my time. There were plenty of people back home that would have gladly help make me into an exorcist. In this school, if a kid goes missing, no one cares. They just brush it off like a speck of dust on a shelf. I also wondered who here was really my friends. Ya sure, Konekomaru and Shima have been through the same hell as I, but they didn't do anything. Everyone pushed Rin away because of him being Satans son and all, well guess what? You can't control who your father is. I sometimes would be nice, but you can't. I want to make sure that you all understand that I am going to leave because this is for Rins sake. If he got hurt, or worse, killed, I wouldn't be able to walk anywhere because his face would constantly drive me to insanity. I wish that everyone could or would think the same way but it appears that there are even bigger idiots in the wrld than Rin. What if one of you had run off instead of Rin? You know that he would have come running for you. Look at the time when Konekomaru was going to leave the school and Rin came after him, knowing that he was feared and hated by Konekomaru. You all can just go to hell. because I may or may not be back. _

_By until further notice,_

_Bon._

I placed the note on my desk so that way one of the two guys would find it. I took one look at the school before leaving into the forest. I broke into a dead run, not stopping until I fell. I looked around, I wasn't sure where I was, but I could guess, that I was out of school grounds. I fell asleep just laying there. Not knowing of the fearful shadow that was creeping up along me that may or may not be the end of me.


End file.
